25 2 / 2014
"What are you looking for in an apartment?"
oh, you know, the usual. I need a bathroom where the plug is close enough to the toilet so I can dry my hair while taking a dump, I need a living room roughly the size (but not necessarily the same shape) as a standard MMA octagon ring, I need enough windowless walls to set up a nauseating amount of bookshelves, and a kitchen made for someone who is under 4’ 11”. Oh, and it needs to be pet friendly. I have a capybara.
16 2 / 2014
so apparently when jrr tolkien was a professor on the first day of class he’d wait until his students were in the lecture hall and seated and starting to wonder whether they were all in the wrong room before throwing open the doors at the back of the hall and striding down the aisle reciting the first 50 lines of beowulf in old english so moral of the story if you don’t know anything about jrr tolkien aside from lotr you are missing out my friend
11 2 / 2014
"Probably if our lives were more conformed to nature, we should not need to defend ourselves against her heats and colds, but find her our constant nurse and friend, as do plants and quadrupeds. If our bodies were fed with pure and simple elements, and not with a stimulating and heating diet, they would afford no more pasture for cold than a leafless twig, but thrive like the trees, which find winter genial to their expansion."
25 1 / 2014
you can take one man’s trash to another man’s treasure but you can’t make it drink
Fun fact: the blending of idioms or cliches is called a malaphor.
My personal favorite is “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
make like a tree and fuck off
These are just the cream of the cake.