November 2009
40 posts
“I believe I’m bigger than the universe, smaller than the universe and...”
– George Carlin, “Last Words”
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The Good, the Bad, and the Nights I Forgot About
I like every night that I say the next day was a “bad night.” Because the “bad nights” are always the best nights. I always feel like I’m lying through my teeth the next morning when I say I fucked up. We both know I didn’t.
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Three-Martini Lunch
I’ve got mixed feelings. I believe when together they’re called a “dry martini.”
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“So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole...”
– Immanuel Kant
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150 Years of Charles Darwin's "On the Origin of... →
The National Science Foundation celebrates the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species.
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“Ayn Rand, champion of libertarian thought and author of the free market economic...”
– Written as part of a response on my Values exam.
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“Everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.”
– Leo Tolstoy
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Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
I recently heard someone say, “man, did Jeffrey Dahmer have a lot of skeletons in his closet or what!?” Dude, understatement of the century.
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A salted.
It’s too hard to take things with a grain of salt. I can barely see a grain of salt. I really don’t think that one single grain is going to provide much flavor anyway.
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Health care reform.
You know, it’s nice to go to the doctor and get a clean bill of health. Until I get that clean bill from insurance.
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“It’s like going to the doctor with a broken leg and having the doctor give...”
– Lydia Bickford
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“So I went looking for an online test to see if I had ADD and I totally got...”
– Chelsea R.
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An Age of Super.
We live in an age of super. Superman. Superwoman. Superfriends. SuperCuts. Super deals. Super savings. Supersize. Superheroes. Superfood. Super-deluxe. Super gas. Super 8. Super Mario. Super lotto. Superintendent. Super Soaker. Super glue. Super collider. Super conductor. Super highway. Super Bowl. My Super Sweet 16. Super fresh. Supermarket. Super Tuesday. Super genius. Super-sensitive....
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But I've changed!
"Man, I feel like a new person!"
"Really, because you sound like same pompous asshole you were before."
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CT's Governor Jodi Rell will not run in 2010 →
NED LAMONT 2010
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Limb traders.
I’m always told I’ll pay and arm and a leg for some things. I haven’t yet. Is there a limb repo man I should be worried about?
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“If you don’t have the time to read, you don’t have the time or the...”
– Stephen King
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Hangover
There’s a difference between having a hangover and being a buzz-kill. The difference is that when you have a have a hangover, there are at least two people laughing at you, and you’re laughing too.
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Howl at the full stomach.
Why do we use the phrase “I wolfed down that cheeseburger” and not “I hyenaed down that cheeseburger?” What about “I hungry hungry hippoed down that cheeseburger?” If you’re “wolfing” down food, you have to be hungry hungry.
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ha ha oh god I know which head.
I had a friend who inherited a lot of money, but he didn’t know what to do with everything he got. He soon moved to a different city and became a gigolo. A year later, I saw him again. He was different, but I didn’t know why. The friend I was with said that the money had gone to his head. I’m still not sure which head she was referring to.
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Election day.
I’m pretty sure the best reward for voting today wasn’t the sticker, nor was it the look on the faces of the republican poll solicitors outside when I pulled in with Connecticut plates, it was the fact that I got a better parking spot in the college lot than I had when I left.
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NaNoWriMo '09 Update: November 2
This is my first attempt at National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30. Well, I’m off to a good start. Yesterday I played four hours of Tri-Peaks Solitaire and wrote nothing. I did, however, have a decent idea in the shower. I decided that, in the spirit of re-working older novels, like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, I would...
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“Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?”
– Henry Ward Beecher