December 2010
19 posts
3 tags
Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
It has come to my attention that there are several problems with some of the most classic Christmas songs. I have taken precious time out of my busy holiday rush to address these issues. In the classic 1974 Rankin/Bass claymation “The Year without a Santa Claus,” neither the Snow Miser OR the Heat Miser’s song rhymes the word “touch” or “clutch” with...
Dec 23rd
4 tags
“There’s a bar that has five dollar pitchers of Natty Light. I’d...”
– my quote of the night
Dec 23rd
5 tags
Christmas Gift Wrapping
It’s Christmastime again, and for everyone else, it’s the time of year where we spend time with the family and give and receive and all that crap. But for me, it’s the time of year where I struggle to wrap presents. I am, by far, the worst gift-wrapper ever to walk the face of the earth. Don’t get me wrong, I love buying presents. I really do enjoy finding the perfect gift...
Dec 21st
1 note
5 tags
Dec 16th
1,356 notes
4 tags
Too Hip To Hipster: Mandatory Christmas Viewing →
toohiptohipster: toolatetrotsky: toohiptohipster: A small list of things that I need to watch in December in order to get into some sort of a Holiday mood. A Charlie Brown Christmas - My favorite Peanuts holiday special. I’ve watched this ever year for as far back as I can remember. It’s available on Hulu right now. Rudolph the Red Nose… You’re missing the animated How the Grinch Stole...
Dec 16th
3 tags
Too Hip To Hipster: Mandatory Christmas Viewing →
toohiptohipster: A small list of things that I need to watch in December in order to get into some sort of a Holiday mood. A Charlie Brown Christmas - My favorite Peanuts holiday special. I’ve watched this ever year for as far back as I can remember. It’s available on Hulu right now. Rudolph the Red Nose… You’re missing the animated How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and the...
Dec 15th
2 tags
Dec 15th
4 tags
“From now on, people who love finding little-known microbreweries and limited...”
Dec 15th
2 notes
4 tags
Cursive Practice
This is an excerpt from a “life journey” paper that was due early last week. Yes, I’m doing it right now. Shut up. Childhood is the only time no one should expect anything from you. Except they do. I remember in elementary school only wanting to write silly little stories – the kind of imaginative, pencil-written, quick-to-climax-and-resolution tales that kids like to write. I...
Dec 15th
3 tags
Dec 14th
838 notes
5 tags
“My goal is to have a tolerance that rivals Marion Ravenwood’s from Indiana...”
Dec 14th
4 tags
Dec 10th
139 notes
3 tags
Kosher.
Me: Does this thesis sound kosher? (Thesis).
Professor: About as kosher a Hebrew National hot dog.
Dec 10th
2 tags
“One of my hobbies is wastefulness.”
–  a classmate discussing his shortcomings as a recycler.
Dec 9th
DESCRIBE YOUR LAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE USING A FILM...
toohiptohipster: ohmycrowley: molotovmyassbutt: pickupthatamulet: wilkesbo0th: wallscroll: love actually Heat The 40 Year Old Virgin INCEPTION!!!!! Clueless. Die Hard. Gone in 60 Seconds.
Dec 9th
1,018 notes
3 tags
Dec 7th
5 tags
Petty Differences.
toohiptohipster: Awhile back, Fred, Scott, and I were laughing about a ridiculous sitcom we had imagined up. I had forgotten about it, but apparently they had continued talking. Fred was recounting some of it to me — and it’s legitimately hilarious. Like, rolling on the floor funny. I want to try and put it together as an animated thing. Ideally 3 to 5 minute monthly episodes. It’s too fucking...
Dec 5th
4 tags
Non-designated Driver
It’s been snowing all day in Southwest Virginia. So far it’s accumulated about two inches total, which is enough to coat the grass and be a pain in the ass when you want to drive somewhere. Now, I live with two friends in a college-owned apartment located about a mile from main campus. The annex campus also has two fraternities, a sorority, and an empty building. Remember this, it...
Dec 5th
8 tags
From Greg Proops' New Podcast, "The Smartest Man...
toohiptohipster: Proops: Do you have a favorite author? Audience Member: Uhh.. In college it was Rand. Proops: Ayn (Anne) Rand? And you’ve come to this? I love it. This is a meeting of the minds! In college it was Ayn Rand, and then what? You woke up and realized that you wasted fucking hours of your life reading her bullshit diatribes? AM: It’s pronounced Ayn (aɪn), and— ...
Dec 1st