September 2010
18 posts
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“Men are like tortilla chips. The big ones are always hiding at the bottom.”
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Sleeping Giant
I spent my adolescent life in south-central Connecticut, hiking, swimming, and generally goofing around in the woods of Sleeping Giant traprock mountain, always ending up at Wentworth’s Ice Cream Parlor at the foot of one of the ridges. I went spelunking this summer, finding a fairly well-hollowed cave at the top of a peak. I have always enjoyed the outdoors, and my childhood thought that...
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“Obama’s ethnicity? He’s Hawaiian and Muslim.”
– A Fox News-watching Political Science major I corrected this fairly quickly saying, “There are so many things wrong with this statement, but I’ll start with the obvious two: 1) ‘Muslim’ is a religion and 2) he’s half white and half black.” Realizing now I should...
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Ars Woetica
I’ve spent a lot of time over the last few days reading over passages I flagged when I read 1984 and Brave New World back in high school. I’ve also been reading some of my own academic writing from my first few years in college, and I’ve noticed that a lot of my writing contains the basic principles of, well, if Aldous Huxley and George Orwell had a love child. A paranoid,...
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Career Services
Soon enough, I’ll be walking across some stage draped in my college’s colors, dressed in a robe (and nothing else, if I have anything to say about it) and shaking hands with high-ranking college officials, diploma in hand. Of course, I’ll be scared shitless because this traditional event that takes place all over the country sometime in the spring will mean that I have to either...
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Patrick: What the hell was that?
Me: ...I dropped my dip.
Patrick: (Comes and looks) Good Christ, Brian. It's vegetable dip, not vegetable drown.
Tell your brother he's awesome.
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Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
I'm taking a completely unbearable 20th Century English literature class, and we just read Virginia Woolf's "A Room of One's Own." Well, everyone else read it. I read about two pages and decided, "fuck this, I'm getting a beer."
Professor: Okay, so, what does Virginia Woolf need?
Me (muttering): A dick in her mouth so she can't lecture, and a dick in her hand so she can't write.
I'm a female but I'm not a feminist.
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Watchthedailywhat:
Weezer Music Video of the Day: “Memories”
Co-starring the Jackass crew. First single off the band’s eighth studio album, Hurley — in stores September 14.
[illroots.]
I cannot wait for this motherfucking album.
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Nostalgia, Vol. 2
So I’ve settled back into the college groove for the last time, and it’s been two weeks since I’ve done laundry. I was looking at my dresser, specifically my shirts, and was wondering what I’d wear tomorrow if I didn’t do my laundry tonight. As I was staring at the majority of green shirts left, a thought came across my mind, something…fairly bizarre that I...
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Al Gore Facts
I was watching An Inconvenient Truth in a tired stupor, and somehow, my twitter quickly became flooded with “Al Gore Facts.” I believe it started when I noticed that my ripped copy of the film had Spanish subtitles, and I quipped that “Al Gore can be boring in two different languages at the same time.” I apologized, saying that he was pretty cool in my book, but in my book,...
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An Excuse for Alcoholism
I just realized the reason I drink alone is because when I’m drunk, I don’t piss me off.
