December 2011
14 posts
2 tags
Christmas Eve Footie Pajama Party (Transcribed...
Me: Well, I'm wearing adult footie pajamas, a santa hat, and I'm surrounded by empty beer bottles. Guys, I'm single.
Katie: SHUT UP. I'M WEARING KERMIT THE FROG FOOTIE PJS & TWO BOTTLES OF WINE DOWN AND I'M SINGLE TOO! HOW WEIRD?!?!?!
Me: Mine are Eeyore! I wonder if there's something to this...
Katie: i think it's that we just have really really REALLY high standards.
Me: That's gotta be it. It's obviously not us.
Katie: Absolutely not us.
1 tag
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and...”
– Aldous Huxley (via misswallflower)
My bro always gets an automatic reblog.
3 tags
Christmas Unwrapped
I am the worst gift wrapper of all time. I could make up a story about how because I’m an only child and have moved back in with my parents that I just ask the opposite parent to wrap presents for the other, but I don’t. I’m not lazy - I’ve spent four years of college breaks trying to figure out how to do this shit.
I’ve come to a conclusion. I can’t neatly...
4 tags
Warning: Glue bonds immediately to skin
Last night, I managed to super-glue a beer can to my hand.
Here’s a little background, because I think we’re going to need it.
About a week ago, I woke up to get ready for work and walked into the living room to turn on the television. Because I still live with my parents, this is basically a ruse to convince my mother that, yes, I’m awake and getting ready and no, not back...
4 tags
Nutty as a Fruitcake
Christmas time brings many things around my house - friends, family, laughter, and, of course, copious amounts of booze. At the annual holiday party my friends and I have every year, though, we had an uninvited guest.
Fruitcake.
The tradition of eating an unappealing foodstuff started off as a joke two years ago, when one of our friends, who is an excellent baker, made a tray of cupcakes and...
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3 tags
In Wisconsin, a Recall Effort Belies a Progressive... →
In which Charlie Pierce (whom most of you know from NPR’s “Wait! Wait! Don’t tell me!” or my pushing of his book Idiot America upon you) wins today’s “best lede ever” award.
MADISON, Wisc. — On Friday, Governor Scott Walker presided over the ceremonial lighting of the Christmas tree in the great rotunda of the state capitol, hard by the bust of...
3 tags
1 tag
I'm kind of liveblogging Huckabee's Republican... →
Dead Presidents: Random Dead Presidents Fact of... →
deadpresidents:
In the early evening hours of February 6, 1962, President John F. Kennedy summoned his Press Secretary Pierre Salinger to the Oval Office and entrusted Salinger with a serious, time-sensitive task.
“Pierre, I need some help,” the President said. Salinger responded, “I’ll be glad to do…
This is a great story.
1 tag
United States v. One Package of Japanese Pessaries →
In case you were wondering if the country is so fucked up because of modern political partisanship, it’s not. The government’s been doing ridiculous and pointless shit for a long time. Above is a case in point.