Yo, Sacramento! You suck!
Originally Posted 12/4/2009.
What the fuck is this Prop 8 shit?
Seriously, California? Us Connecticans didn’t fall for that ”Yes on Question 1” bullhockey.
Now, I understand it’s the whole ‘sanctity of marriage’ thing, but what book of the Bible does it say that two people who love each other can’t share a bond that should only be viewed governmentally? Since, you know, there’s that whole Separation of Church and State thing. Oh wait, I found it:
The Book of Asshole, 4:19
“And Jesus spake, “Fuck you.’”
Well, shit.
But can we look at this from a different perspective, please? For once?
Why do you care? Why is this such a big fucking deal?
The divorce rate among heterosexual couples is 50%. ONE in TWO marriages will FAIL. I know for a fact that I can’t keep a boyfriend. So, obviously, I can’t imagine entering a binding commitment without hyperventilating.
Honestly, when I see a gay couple, especially two women together, you know what I think?
“Hell, alright. More guys for me.”
That’s what we all should be thinking. Guys, you too, only inversely. You see two dudes holding hands, you should look on the bright side and say, “Cool, more wild poonberry bushes for moi.”
And another thing, can we take a look at preferred threesome combinations for couples? Guaranteed more guys would rather have sex with two girls rather than another guy and a girl. I bet there are more GIRLS that would rather have a threesome with a guy and a girl rather than two guys. Just, it’s anatomically easier.
Guys, you have the most to benefit from gay couples. You get more chicks, and a lot of you get off on two girls making out anyway, so lesbian porn isn’t so far off. There aren’t a lot of women who like to masturbate to two dudes having butt sex on a big screen. There aren’t a lot of women who like to masturbate to anything on a big screen.
Now, these claims have not been researched, so don’t come yelling at me if you think I’m wrong, just prove it and I’ll recant.
Not really.
Now, I promised to bring the funny.
