Jon and Kate in a Court of the State
Originally Posted 6/22/2009.
Well, I’m back. I needed a bit of a break from creativity to kill a few thousand brain cells in various parts of the country. Don’t worry, though, I’m still the same me and I haven’t lost any of the cheese that was in the refrigerator leftover from Christmas Eve.
What?
Anyway, the entire internet is buzzing tonight about TLC’s reality stars Jon and Kate. The Eight don’t matter right now.
Jon and Kate are getting a divorce.
What a fucking surprise.
When half of regular marriages end in divorce anyway, what makes us all assume that one cracking under the stress of television ratings would be immune to those odds.
Oh, I forgot to mention that they have EIGHT KIDS.
There’s a bunch of people who are all, “they should stay together for the kids.” That’s stupid. These two stopped caring about anything, “for the kids” long before this clusterfuck happened. If they did care, they wouldn’t have let cameras into their house 24/7 to shove lenses into the kids’ faces and document their every move. Just like Animal Planet’s Meerkat Manor.
It’s all staged anyway. All of this is probably a publicity stunt in order to boost ratings and eventually have a special where they check up on the family later on blah blah blah. It started when Jon was “spotted” with the lady friend. Bullshit. He wasn’t “spotted.” Either it was set up or that man is a bigger idiot than everyone thought. If you’re having an affair, or fooling around with someone, you don’t go out in public. Especially if you’re a public figure. And Kate’s bodyguard scandal? Not a scandal. Just some clever passive aggressive marketing tactic by the show’s publicists. It makes her seem like a bitch again and justifies Jon to hang out with the floozy. Plus now, she’s the victim, and all she wanted was, “someone to talk to.” Bam. Instant validation. Meanwhile, gossip magazines are flying off the shelves and America keeps tuning in to the show every week.
See how easy that was?
It’s all just a bunch of marketing bullshit, and should be looked at as such from here on out.
