Musings from an Airport Terminal
I’m currently waiting in Gate A4 at Philadelphia International Airport for my flight.
This airport is one of the most peculiar places on the face of the earth.
Number one, I landed in F terminal, where all the “express” flights take off and land. For future reference, by the way, “express” means that it’s a tiny little propeller plane that rocks back and forth while in the air, and then, when you’re getting ready to land, you freak out a little because you realize the plane isn’t straight. So that was fun. Anyway, F terminal is disconnected from the rest of the airport, so they have shuttles to take passengers back and forth.
Now, “shuttle” does not mean underground metro system. No. It means a bus. A fucking BUS. A normal city/municipal/whatever bus goes driving across the tarmac. Next to planes. And not just any planes, oh no. PLANES THAT ARE TAKING OFF AND LANDING. That five minutes on the bus was the most terrifying five minutes I’ve ever experienced.
So I get to A terminal and I need to pee. I go into the bathroom stalls and they’re at least a foot and a half wider than normal bathroom stalls. I’m assuming they did this to prevent an incident similar to Larry Craig’s “wide stance.”
As I’m sitting here, across from a CNBC News store, some woman just came out with Glenn Beck’s An Inconvenient Book. By they way, of all the books in that store, three authors have more than one title available for sale: John Grisham, Nora Roberts, and Glenn Beck. Barf.
