Non-designated Driver
It’s been snowing all day in Southwest Virginia. So far it’s accumulated about two inches total, which is enough to coat the grass and be a pain in the ass when you want to drive somewhere.
Now, I live with two friends in a college-owned apartment located about a mile from main campus. The annex campus also has two fraternities, a sorority, and an empty building. Remember this, it might be important later.
I just dropped one of my roommates off at her car parked on main campus. As we left our apartment, we noticed that one of the fraternity houses was throwing a party.
“Huh,” I said. “Seems kind of early. Must be a cocktail.”
As we drove around the bend, my suspicions were confirmed as a handful of young women in very short skirts/dresses/shirts that look like they could possibly pass as a dress if the wearer is small enough exited a black sedan that looks fairly similar to my Honda Civic. Except for the fact that it looks nothing like my Honda Civic.
“Oh look,” I said. “They ordered strippers! That’ll be one hell of a party.”
After dropping my roommate off, I returned to my apartment’s parking. A young man in a shirt and tie and a young woman in a very short dress wearing her date’s coat were standing in the lot, apparently waiting for something. I slowed down since they were standing where I wanted to go. They began to approach the car. Confused, as soon as they were out of my way, I sped forward, twisted my steering wheel, and parked in the open spot.
After exiting my car, I decided to use a blank but ruined poster-board to clean off the rest of the snow from my windows. Meanwhile, the couple who thought I was the frat party’s designated driver stood confused in the freezing cold, wondering why no other cars were rushing to the parking lot to pick them up.
