“ My goal is to have a tolerance that rivals Marion Ravenwood’s from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
To Whom it May Concern,
I congratulate you on the success of your hit television show entitled Glee. It would seem that you have nailed a niche in American culture left empty when you decided to air an hour-long teen dramady with musical style. To go without saying, this show has filled a void that Americans had yet to see on television.
Although, if one really thinks about the circumstances surrounding the premise of this program, especially the setting and the “tween” culture to which the show has been marketed, it wouldn’t seem as fresh as, say, your summer hit buddy cop show, The Good Guys.
I think perhaps you may want to take a look at the singing teenage high school angst genre and realize the company you are up against.
The Walt Disney Company has made and released not one, not two, but three feature-length films with the High School Musical moniker - not to mention the countless amounts of merchandise, a stage and concert tour, and a reality show based on the films. The market also expanded to reach international audiences.
Luckily, the American people have not recognized the similarities between Glee and High School Musical. However, if there comes a time when viewers begin to realize that what they are watching on Fox they actually have on DVD and can watch any time they please, it may be time to let the series go. No shark-jumping, no “Who Shot J.R.s,” no spin-offs.
Basically, all I’m saying is that I’m not sure the mortal body of Rupert Murdoch has enough strength to fight the frozen head of Walt Disney when it is attached to a fully-functional, Disney-Imagineered animatronic body.
Because, as we all know, media moguls do not settle their disputes with mere lawsuits, they settle them in gladiator-esque arena style death matches.
Thank you for your time,
An Unconcerned Media Watch-Dog
I spent my adolescent life in south-central Connecticut, hiking, swimming, and generally goofing around in the woods of Sleeping Giant traprock mountain, always ending up at Wentworth’s Ice Cream Parlor at the foot of one of the ridges.
I went spelunking this summer, finding a fairly well-hollowed cave at the top of a peak. I have always enjoyed the outdoors, and my childhood thought that “I’m climbing on the stomach of a giant, sleeping Indian chief” seemed to only enhance the experience.
After today though, I will never hike that mountain again.
And this is why:
That’s right, according to Wikipedia, which never lies, “Sleeping Giant is also an important seasonal raptor migration path.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “They don’t mean Velociraptor, they mean, like, bird raptor.”
Bullshit, I say! You can keep reassuring yourself that a vicious dinosaur will never come through the bushes and cut open your stomach with its razor-sharp claw and eat you while you watch, screaming.
I will not be caught off guard, thank you very much.
![thedailywhat:
Unnecessary Gimmick of the Day: THR is reporting tonight that George Lucas is planning a 3-D re-release of all six Star Wars episodes, starting in early 2012.
From THR:
Part 1, “The Phantom Menace,” would be first out of star-dock in the early months of 2012. After that, each of the films would be released in order at the same time each consecutive year, depending on how well the first re-release does.
Each conversion takes at least a year to complete, with Lucas personally overseeing the process to make sure each one is as perfected as possible. Lucas has said that the “Avatar” experience convinced him that “Star Wars” was ready for the state-of-the-art 3D treatment.
So three years of re-purposed sacrilege, followed by three years of sacrilegious re-purposing. Can’t wait.
[image: truffleshuffle.]
THE MAYANS KNEW. GOOD GOD.Here’s what’s going to happen:Episode I is going to re-release. George Lucas and everyone at IL&M will replace Jar-Jar Binks with Hypnotoad. Millions of Americans will put on their 3-D glasses and will immediately be under the control of 20th Century Fox, which will force them to attend numerous movies with that guy from Las Vegas.Meanwhile, the Tea Party Movement will learn how to harness the power of the internet. An old, white man with a beard and a shotgun will be looking up the meaning and spelling “socialist” when he ends up on the FOX News website. After randomly clicking a shitload of links, he accidentally hacks the Fox corporation.Thinking that what he’s about to type in is a comment box, he writes “VOTE SARAH PALIN 2012” and presses enter.Suddenly, millions of Star Wars fans feel the urge to hunt wolves out of a helicopter.The November election comes; a bitter, vicious race between President Obama, an up-and-coming levelheaded Republican from New England, and third party candidate Sarah Palin.For the first time since the Whigs, a bunch of fat, angry, heavily-armed white people elect one of their own.The world is now ruled by Joe Six-Pack and soccer moms all over America. Iran issues one of its weekly benign threats towards the west. In retaliation, Iran is invaded and new nuclear short-range missiles are used.At this point, Kim Jong-Il has given power to his son, who, distraught by his father’s recent death, decides it’s time to act out. He dresses himself in his army gear and takes the next plane over to America. No one recognizes him because in the ignorant society distracted by pretty three-dimensional space battles, no one knows who the fuck he is. He goes Rambo on the fucking place and single-handedly destroys the city of Cleveland, Ohio. No one notices. He goes home and vows to only use his powers for good. North Korean Batman is born.As Cleveland rebuilds, the rest of America is split in two as President Palin and Vice-President Rand Paul duel with pistols on the front lawn of the White House over who is the “realer American.” Suddenly, just before they pace ten and turn to fire, a wave of undead people crash through the gate. Secretary of Witchcraft and Masturbation Christine O’Donnell had abandoned her post, allowing one zombified human soul to break free, infecting thousands in just a few hours.And that’s how the zombie apocalypse starts.But don’t worry, I’m ready.](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9hml9r4h81qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
