“ You’ve heard the story of the three bears, right? The momma bear gets into bed and says it’s warm. The poppa bear gets into bed and days it’s too cold. The baby bear gets into bed and says, “goodnight everyone!” Get it? Because there’s a little blonde chick in his bed.
— Dad, after half a bottle of rum, telling a horribly butchered joke and then explaining the punchline.
So my parents and I decided to buy tickets for the Big East men’s tournament and go into New York City for the day.
My dad just told us a story as we’re sitting in New Haven traffic on our way to the train station:
“I was listening to sports radio last night at work, and they said that yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the Joe Frazier / Muhammad Ali fight at Madison Square Garden,” he said.
“You want to know why I thought it was a great idea to go to the city today? Because the day after that fight my mother took me to the city. I remember that because on the way back, my mom let me buy a Sports Illustrated to read on the train, and on the cover was Joe Frazier knocking out Muhammad Ali.”
“Was this the time you got the turtle?” Mom asked.
“No. That was when I was like, four years old,” Dad continued. “But it wasn’t like it was tomorrow or two days from now, it was 40 years ago today that I was in New York.”
“Weird, right?”
My parents adopted a dog over the summer. Now, here’s a picture of Crockett.
This is Crockett.
Cute, right? Yeah, he’s about three times the size of this adorable little puppy in this photo now. In layman’s terms, he’s fucking huge.
Crockett is a Catahoula Leopard Dog. These dogs are bred in Catahoula County, Louisiana for boar hunting and such.
Now, this particular dog is nuts. He chews everything. The molting on the wall, shoes, fences - anything he can find, basically.
I just received a text from my father:
“Mom and I want to go on a trip to Louisiana to find Catahoula County. We figure we drive around until we find a place where everything is chewed within an inch of its life or utterly torn apart and then we’ll know we’re there.”
This pretty much sums that up.
“ I got the reinvested dividend from Comcast and Kimberly Clark, gonna pick up check go to post office, have lunch with mom, go to home Depot, maybe Bed Bath and Beyond if I have time, I don’t know…
okay maybe one beer bong because it tastes so good when it hits your throat.
— Dad, referencing Old School while telling me his plans for the day.
