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Too Late, Trotsky is part blog, part journal, and completely pointless.Following
Vintage COMPLETE set 1967 Spirograph No 401 by dirtybirdiesvintage
I have this somewhere in my basement. It was my dad’s, so we took it from my grandmother’s house when they moved out and mom, dad, and I had a good old-fashioned time.
Day 1
So for Christmas, my mom got me a Barack Obama Chia Pet.
A fan of Obamerchandise, of which I have previously written articles about at Suburban Justice, I was elated.
I was poised to start growing a Chia-fro on the the president, until I realized I had to return to college on an airplane, not by driving as I had planned. The Chia inauguration had been put on hold.
It wasn’t until I returned home from school this weekend that I decided it was time to elect a President that would grow a small and unsubstantial herb garden on his clay sculptured head.
I started by clearing an area on the counter and looking over the box thoroughly.
And by that, I mean I threw it on the counter.
Opening the box, I removed the clay Obama head and placed it on the counter, prominently displaying the President on the green marble counter. He looked goddamn inspiring.
Look at that good-looking pottery-faced motherfucker. That is our president, ladies and gentlemen.
Reading the directions, you’re supposed to soak the head in water for an hour.
If the Chia gods wish it to be so…
So the next step was to mix the seeds with water, which was supposed to make them into a sticky, paste-like form.
I disagree. This looked more like what a chinchilla would vomit.
Just as the directions told me to, I smeared the seed-puke onto the head of Obama, which is something I never want to hear on C-SPAN. It ended up looking like this:
Which actually, if you think about it, will probably look like Obama in about 10 years. But other than that, there is little resemblance.
Let’s just hope that I don’t cause the President’s herb-hair to turn brown instead of a lush green afro.
My attempt to watch all 1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die and blog about the films and my experience.
This is from my Values reflection paper, which counts as my “final exam” grade. I was spinning bullshit and it turned into this. I probably need to get to sleep soon.
I still believe that a web of positivity connects us all. My new view is a little more complex than just a definition of our morality through our daily interactions. Our circumstances are relative, but our humanity is one thing. As human beings we are expected to do certain things and expected to not do certain things, not only for others, but for ourselves. I spent 10 minutes at Kroger yesterday watching shoppers put pocket change into the Salvation Army bucket. Yes, it helps the needy, but right after the annoying bell-ringer says “thank you,” every single person smiled and had a little “pep in their step” as my grandmother would call it. One little girl, clad in a puffy white jacket that made her look like the Michelin Man more than a toddler, asked her mom for a quarter and instead of waddling over to the gumball machine, went straight over to the woman with the bell and handed her the quarter. Adorable, sure, but that little girl was really fucking cute. Like, I don’t really want kids, but holy shit, if anything could possibly make me want to be injected with whatever fertility drugs Kate plus 8 got in her uterus, it’d be that. Even if you were Stalin, about to commit genocide against your own people, if you saw that, you’d be like “d’awwwww,” stick your thumb in your mouth, put on your footie pajamas, grab your teddy bear and ask your mother to read you Goodnight Moon. That’s how fucking cute it was.
Author’s Note: This is staying in the paper.
We live in an age of super.
Superman.
Superwoman.
Superfriends.
SuperCuts.
Super deals.
Super savings.
Supersize.
Superheroes.
Superfood.
Super-deluxe.
Super gas.
Super 8.
Super Mario.
Super lotto.
Superintendent.
Super Soaker.
Super glue.
Super collider.
Super conductor.
Super highway.
Super Bowl.
My Super Sweet 16.
Super fresh.
Supermarket.
Super Tuesday.
Super genius.
Super-sensitive.
Supersonic.
Super K-Mart.
Superstar.
Superhuman.
Super simple.
Supernova.
Supernatural.
Super spy.
Superstition.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Of course, all of this is completely superfluous and superficial.
This is from my Mass Communications exam on print media, including the internet. I went to town. I did not answer the question at all. I scored 20/25 points on this question for witty commentary.
I amaze myself sometimes.
The New York Times Crossword Puzzle
Monday, September 28th, 2009
